Racing mind. Disconnected, emotionless. Self harm

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Mitch1234
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Oct 09, 2020 2:21 am
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by Mitch1234 on Sat Oct 10, 2020 2:59 am

Racing mind. Disconnected, emotionless. Self harm

ive been battling this for 3 years now prior to this i was a very fit and succesful man, i did use cocaine and steroids in my younger days but did not seem to effect my lifestyle , im 26 years old now the first 2 and a bit years was really intense disconnection, racing thoughts and a feeling of being stuck in my own head i could never be present within myself and feels like i am there but im not 'there' i would have periods of extreme highs and energy and i would be in the shower for example stairing at the wall so deep in my thoughts and scenarios i would almost forget where i was for a second,

i have had some periods( 3 months or so) where i feel completly present and in tune with my mind where i feel like i connect with people and have good energy, but the past 3 months has been so hard i feel like everything has intesified i feel like my energy and emotjons are all over the place i wake up extrmely down and anxious (thoughts about my parnter leaving me wich isnt true and nothing to go off, or just going to work n dreading it) i have woken up at 3 am and been so wired staring at the ceiling woth my mind feeling like its going so fast but i couldnt tell you what i was thinking of, i feel so disconnected from my self there is a feeling in my head i cant even describe but it is like i just cant feel and think clearly, racing mind (not of a percific thought just all over the place) i can be so anxious and down in the morning but i could be extremely energetic in the afternoon then back down again but the feeling in the mind never goes away,

i seeked proffesinal help they said they havent heard of anything with all these symptoms i am on sodium valproate 1000mg a day (been on for 2 week) i feel like it hasnt helped at all (early days i know) ive also taken 'valdoxan' it seem to make me feel better about a year and a half ago but i stopped for 6 months tried to take it 3 months ago but had to stop after a week because it made me extemely manic as they say

im just writing this to see if anyone has or is experincing this kind of thing and any help would be greatly appreciated thankyou

MissCandyGirl
Posts: 279
Joined: Thu Sep 26, 2019 6:11 pm
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by MissCandyGirl on Mon Oct 12, 2020 3:07 pm

Re: Racing mind. Disconnected, emotionless. Self harm

I think your previous drug use of cocaine - and possibly other illegal drugs - have affected your brain. Not just with upset/disturbing emotions but also its physiology. Drugs are known to have a long-term effect on the brain: even years later after stopping use.

You can't undo your drug use, but you CAN make sure you do not use such a substance again. You are feeling the effects of cocaine use. Perhaps even other chemicals - unknown and mixed - in the drug mixtures you took. I do have to ask: does your doctor know about your previous drug use? If he/she doesn't, I would advise you tell them. I write this because they need to know exactly what they're dealing with when treating you.

You can't change your past, but you have take what you are prescribed and perhaps follow some kind of routine to assist with disturbed nights and rollercoaster emotions you're feeling. 3 years is a long time to go through such trauma. I can't say you'll get better, but there are ways to cope with the situation you're now in. Take it step-by-step and day-by-day. There is no magic cure to your feelings and paranoia but you can make it through.

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