long-term unemployment question

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bishoy.a
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Oct 01, 2020 1:32 am
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by bishoy.a on Thu Oct 01, 2020 1:54 am

long-term unemployment question

Hello,

Due to depression _which was later diagnosed as borderline and then deemed treatment resistant_ I haven't had a long-term job since graduation. I graduated in 2016 and I had 5 jobs ever since, the longest time I held a job was about 3 months. I graduated with an architectural engineering degree but I originally joined engineering school to be a computer engineer, but after passing the first year and trying computer engineering I decided that it was too hard for my taste and moved to architecture, anyway I hated it, but perhaps I was smart enough to graduate without failing any subject. I couldn't apply for any engineering job since graduation, part fear of failure and part hatred for the field. I worked in graphic design and sales and ESL teaching.

So, yea. Here I am, a 27-year-old guy with no skills, trained in nothing, I even forgot what I studied and I hadn't touched graphic design for almost a year. I wasn't good in sales because of the social anxiety and me being an introvert. I have no plan and I think of suicide multiple times a day. I can't get medical help because I tried that for 3 years and as I said they eventually said that I was treatment resistant. And to top it all off my mother told me outright that they've been keeping up with me for four years and I shouldn't ask them of anything else. I live with them _as customary in my country for young people to live with parents until marriage_ but I decided that I'm going to leave the house, the sooner the better. Now I even don't know if I should lie in the resume about the gaps or should I say that I was abroad and was working in irrelevant jobs and start afresh with an empty resume, what should I do? Is it worth it? Should I just end it all? Why should I wait a couple of decades before I die when I can do it now? I know people will call it running away, and they will call me a coward and selfish for putting my family through this but does it matter in the end?

I'm sorry for the very long question, but I had to write that down, at least to get it out of my head.

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talkhealth
Posts: 1760
Joined: Thu Nov 04, 2010 3:29 pm
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by talkhealth on Thu Oct 01, 2020 5:34 pm

Re: long-term unemployment question

Hello

It is very difficult being unemployed and finding it hard to decide what your niche or future is. And writing it down and seeking help from others is certainly a good way forward. I am not sure what country you are writing from, but in the UK we have organisations that I would highly recommend you contact ASAP, in order, you can talk through your concerns and feelings.

MIND - info@mind.org.uk 0300 123 3393
SAMARITANS - jo@samaritans.org 116 123

If you are not in the UK, I am sure that there are equivalent organisations that will offer such support and allow you a place to be able to discuss things through and recommend you contact them.
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MissCandyGirl
Posts: 279
Joined: Thu Sep 26, 2019 6:11 pm
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by MissCandyGirl on Thu Oct 08, 2020 3:25 pm

Re: long-term unemployment question

Unfortunately I never went to university. Therefore I do not have even half of your skills and talents. I can understand your employment worries. I can not work in a shop, either, because I have social anxiety. So I know the feeling. I even struggle to sit in an office for two hours. I could in the past: when the offices were on different levels. But I can't handle an open plan office. I also had trouble with a "colleague" trying to bully me. I think she's gone now, but - at the time - she really wanted to get me. This has caused worry about employment for me, too.

I write all this because I want to empathise with you. Being without a job is terrifying. Losing your skills and suffering social anxiety is actually more common than you realize. I am sure many relate to yourself: perhaps even relate to me.

To the outside you've done brilliantly: you've graduated from university and you've sought out jobs. But on the inside you're feeling worse than out-of-sorts. I barely finished school. I should've been homelesss by now. But I tried, tried and tried. I did as much as I could to get myself out the gutter. I re-did my school classes at night school. I graduated from college. I did lesser jobs. I really tried to make the best of any opportunity in my stead. And I think you can, too. Why not re-train in graphic design? There ARE options. Also, do consider the above helplines. Because you are NOT alone.

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