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long-term unemployment question

Posted: Thu Oct 01, 2020 1:54 am
by bishoy.a

Due to depression _which was later diagnosed as borderline and then deemed treatment resistant_ I haven't had a long-term job since graduation. I graduated in 2016 and I had 5 jobs ever since, the longest time I held a job was about 3 months. I graduated with an architectural engineering degree but I originally joined engineering school to be a computer engineer, but after passing the first year and trying computer engineering I decided that it was too hard for my taste and moved to architecture, anyway I hated it, but perhaps I was smart enough to graduate without failing any subject. I couldn't apply for any engineering job since graduation, part fear of failure and part hatred for the field. I worked in graphic design and sales and ESL teaching.

So, yea. Here I am, a 27-year-old guy with no skills, trained in nothing, I even forgot what I studied and I hadn't touched graphic design for almost a year. I wasn't good in sales because of the social anxiety and me being an introvert. I have no plan and I think of suicide multiple times a day. I can't get medical help because I tried that for 3 years and as I said they eventually said that I was treatment resistant. And to top it all off my mother told me outright that they've been keeping up with me for four years and I shouldn't ask them of anything else. I live with them _as customary in my country for young people to live with parents until marriage_ but I decided that I'm going to leave the house, the sooner the better. Now I even don't know if I should lie in the resume about the gaps or should I say that I was abroad and was working in irrelevant jobs and start afresh with an empty resume, what should I do? Is it worth it? Should I just end it all? Why should I wait a couple of decades before I die when I can do it now? I know people will call it running away, and they will call me a coward and selfish for putting my family through this but does it matter in the end?

I'm sorry for the very long question, but I had to write that down, at least to get it out of my head.

Re: long-term unemployment question

Posted: Thu Oct 01, 2020 5:34 pm
by talkhealth

It is very difficult being unemployed and finding it hard to decide what your niche or future is. And writing it down and seeking help from others is certainly a good way forward. I am not sure what country you are writing from, but in the UK we have organisations that I would highly recommend you contact ASAP, in order, you can talk through your concerns and feelings.

MIND - 0300 123 3393
SAMARITANS - 116 123

If you are not in the UK, I am sure that there are equivalent organisations that will offer such support and allow you a place to be able to discuss things through and recommend you contact them.

Re: long-term unemployment question

Posted: Thu Oct 08, 2020 3:25 pm
by MissCandyGirl
Unfortunately I never went to university. Therefore I do not have even half of your skills and talents. I can understand your employment worries. I can not work in a shop, either, because I have social anxiety. So I know the feeling. I even struggle to sit in an office for two hours. I could in the past: when the offices were on different levels. But I can't handle an open plan office. I also had trouble with a "colleague" trying to bully me. I think she's gone now, but - at the time - she really wanted to get me. This has caused worry about employment for me, too.

I write all this because I want to empathise with you. Being without a job is terrifying. Losing your skills and suffering social anxiety is actually more common than you realize. I am sure many relate to yourself: perhaps even relate to me.

To the outside you've done brilliantly: you've graduated from university and you've sought out jobs. But on the inside you're feeling worse than out-of-sorts. I barely finished school. I should've been homelesss by now. But I tried, tried and tried. I did as much as I could to get myself out the gutter. I re-did my school classes at night school. I graduated from college. I did lesser jobs. I really tried to make the best of any opportunity in my stead. And I think you can, too. Why not re-train in graphic design? There ARE options. Also, do consider the above helplines. Because you are NOT alone.